I'm Ready, I Am

I most likely shouldn't be writing this.

It's 3 A.M. and I'm not entirely sure if my renewed energy is actually from me being awake, or if it's from me being so tired I feel like I'm more awake than I am.

Either way, this is happening so we'll see how it goes.



Why is it that whenever you're far away from a problem, it feels like it doesn't matter as much? We kind of loosen our responsibility a bit, don't we? It's as if the problem doesn't really exist if you're hours away from it. Now, this could be freeing and stress-relieving, but is it really that good to be shunning you're worries?

I think any sane person would say no. Yeah, it's great to be carefree and not have to deal with anything, but we all know that those papers still have to be filed when you sit down at your desk the next morning (I am really proud of this metaphor...just thought you should know). We all know that even if you're far away from your dilemma, it still exists. You still have to come back to it.

That's a little how I feel.

I was at school, not really having to deal with much except for studying and all that good stuff, but I knew what was waiting for me back home.

Job hunting.
Family drama.
Friend drama.

It was nice to push it all away for a while, but the reality is that you can never really get rid of the things that stress you out the most. Well okay, there's probably a few exceptions, but you can never get rid of the important things that stress you out. I wouldn't be stressed if I didn't care about each of these (maybe the job thing is a little less important than family/friends), and I'm realizing that I can't ditch my responsibilities anymore.

I need to be there for my family and friends. I need to stress about is so I can figure out how I can be the best person I can be in each of these situations. I need to figure out how to overcome the obstacles so I don't get so frustrated.

Being home, back to face everything that I've been running from, has been a good lesson in responsibility. I might not like what I'm learning all the time, but it's something that I need to do.