Little Lion Man

The first summer after college is kind of a weird thing...

A year ago I remember thinking that things would definitely be different by the time I was back, but I didn't expect things to change so drastically so quickly.

Not that I hate it at all.
I'm usually okay with change.
Change is cool.
Yay change!

I guess I thought I would care more or something.
I've lost friends.
Great friends who I thought I would talk to and hang out with for a while, and it didn't really change my life. Actually putting that into words is a little weird, and looks a little awful, but it's the truth. We went to talking almost every day to going weeks without contact.

I thought, "Yeah, I'll be back and we'll all be a little different thats for sure, but it won't be too bad."
Instead, we all kind of changed a ton. Some...well actually, a lot seemed to decrease in age. It was as if the only thing that college taught them was that everything is possible through a constant state of inebriation.

Whoops.

I'm not really sure why it is that it hasn't affected me me that much.
Am I putting the blame on them?
Sometimes I do that. I convince myself that I was the right one, even if I was obviously the one to ruin things just so I don't hurt as much. I'm not sure if that was the case here, but it's certainly an option. I'm not even sure if this whole friend issue is something I should be worrying about.


I'm not sure about a lot of things I guess.


I mean, I would love to say that everything going back to the way it was would make my day, but I don't think that would be the case.
In losing some relationships, I've gained new ones that I wouldn't give up for anything.


And I think I like it that way.